Its been almost a month since V-day and I still come across a lot of posts dealing with love stories/tragadies and successes. Lovers waiting to meet, love not reciprocated, love untold, break ups, in love with a friend, college love, school love.. so many permutations and combinations.. and ofcourse..all of them better than the silly love stories on screen these days. As I dug up I even came across a couple of blogs totally dedicated to love. There are people who write a poem every single day about their love, for their love, about affairs, tragedy .. married people writing about their X gals..... so on and so forth.
A major pattern that I observed from these blogs is that:
1. In most cases it was guys who write about their love be it sucessful or tragic.
2. I just came across one or two blogs by gals that speak about love.. athulayum one of the blogger was a female writing poems from a guys prespective.
I have a few questions:
1. Why are most women not so open when it comes to LOVE?
2. I have seen many cases where they(women) love someone but then, do not propose. But they expect the guy to propose. And even after all this they hesitate. Well do you all think that guys do not have any problem in proposing?? Why talk about equality then. I think its not all that easy for guys too.
3. In many cases guys do not propose cause the gal confuses him and he finds it hard to predict whats on her mind? Do you gals also feel that guys are confusing and too complicated to understand??
4. There are several cases where the guy tries to pursuade the gal.. tries to change her mind ..but I hav'nt seen a gal pursuading a guy even once? Even otherwise I think the probabality of the latter case is very less. Why??
Ofcourse I mean no offense here and not trying to generalise here. I have seen a few gals who are very frank but my point is that I just find the % of those gals to be very less when compared to that of guys. Why?? Infact I have seen even the gals who are frank trying to support another gal and justify her shyness/fear just bcoz she is a gal. Why??
Many questions cross my mind ...but I am stopping with these. Will add on more questions while these get answered.
Btwn.. having read so many love blogs over the past few days my next few posts are going to be on this subject.. guess will start with tragic ones and end with a "And they lived happily ever after" note.
A major pattern that I observed from these blogs is that:
1. In most cases it was guys who write about their love be it sucessful or tragic.
2. I just came across one or two blogs by gals that speak about love.. athulayum one of the blogger was a female writing poems from a guys prespective.
I have a few questions:
1. Why are most women not so open when it comes to LOVE?
2. I have seen many cases where they(women) love someone but then, do not propose. But they expect the guy to propose. And even after all this they hesitate. Well do you all think that guys do not have any problem in proposing?? Why talk about equality then. I think its not all that easy for guys too.
3. In many cases guys do not propose cause the gal confuses him and he finds it hard to predict whats on her mind? Do you gals also feel that guys are confusing and too complicated to understand??
4. There are several cases where the guy tries to pursuade the gal.. tries to change her mind ..but I hav'nt seen a gal pursuading a guy even once? Even otherwise I think the probabality of the latter case is very less. Why??
Ofcourse I mean no offense here and not trying to generalise here. I have seen a few gals who are very frank but my point is that I just find the % of those gals to be very less when compared to that of guys. Why?? Infact I have seen even the gals who are frank trying to support another gal and justify her shyness/fear just bcoz she is a gal. Why??
Many questions cross my mind ...but I am stopping with these. Will add on more questions while these get answered.
Btwn.. having read so many love blogs over the past few days my next few posts are going to be on this subject.. guess will start with tragic ones and end with a "And they lived happily ever after" note.
20 comments:
hi vishva,
i try to answer ur questions and i try to give very frank answers as a gal.
1. women are tend to be like that.things have to change,right?
2. women expect guys to propose,thats true in many cases.bcos guys are supposed to be like that,thats what women think.most of the gals think that if they propose first,guys wont be liking that.
3.guys are not difficult to understand.gals jus easily find out that the guy is going to propose and so they wait.
4. when a guy finds out that the gal do not accept his luv, he tries to change her mind,which is the most worst thing to do.bcos when gals make up their mind then thats final.so trying to change her mind will lead to probs. but as u said there are some girls who persuade guys(have seen a gal like that back in college,she tried a lot but could not suceed).
Seems like u need an answer to YOUR kostins... rather than helping solving others ;)
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Veda,
Trying to change ones mind... enna thappu.. U have to work hard to get what you want.. ofcourse try pannaren per-vazhi nu antha ponna pottu paduthardho / misbehavevo panna koodathu
Ra,
Dei These definitely are my own kostins.. coz thats what I have observed.. and I think most guys have these questions in mind.. only that they do not ask..
just an attempt to know how a gal thinks.
hmm. good healthy topic to discuss vishy..
someone said "One of my theories is that men love with their eyes; women love with their ears"
Men are attracted by women's beauty whereas women are more attracted by men's actions and words.
1) and 2) Basic character of penmail.. yethirpaarpu avangalaku adhigam.. They wont tend to loose..
3) I have read in one of the blog that suits your Question.
"oru payan oru ponna kaadhalichaana adhu andha ooruka theriyum but adhae oru ponnu oru payana kaadhalichaalna adhu avaluku mattum thaan theriyum"
"pen manasu adha namma padacha kadavula vandhaalum puruchuka mudiyadhu"
4) this is the worst thing to do..
ponnuga oru thaba pidkalainu mudivu pannitaanganaa then there is no opportunity for trying..
neega ketkalaam try panni success aanavanga illaiyaanu .. adhu rendu edathula thaan
1) that girl already in love with that guy and confused abt the stability of the guy(testingu pa testingu).
2) Namma tamil cinemaala thaan adhu nadakum..
vishy, dont even try to understand how a gal's mind works.....
:P
ur questions are so silly. i mean would you ask y the sun rises from the east and not the west?
there are different ways in which a person can express their emotions and u know it. so there might be jus 10% guys who are writing these blogs on love, that doesnt mean that the entire guy community will write blogs. and yes u will more tragic posts than happy ones, coz blogging will mostly be an outlet to their emotions....gals would probably jus cry and talk to her other gal friends, than write a blog.
and ppl who are in love might be writing poems everyday, but they might not want to publish them in an open forum...understandable.
as far as being open about love is concerned, y shuld a woman discuss her 'love-life' which is something private in a blog. she will talk abt her love with her lover, with her friends...y shuld she blog abt it? see, the way a guy and a guy would bond as friends is very diff from a way 2 gals would bond....guys wuld hang out and have fun but u will find gals talking abt their feelings with their freinds. well i am not saying that guys dont bond in that way, but guys tend to hide their emotions since it is not normally considered manly to express emotions. atleast in India its that way....
abt who proposes whom...it all depends on a person i feel, their level of confidence, their level of involvement...totally dependednt on the person...well more often than not the guy might propose...but i think times are changing. see there are diff kinds of proposals...u will find some guys jus hitting on a gal for "time-pass" as some would call it...
yes, it is def diff for anybody to express their innermost feelings of love to someone since they run a huge risk of getting rejected. my take would be to 1st get totally comfy with the person, be friends and then consider "falling in love"..
as far as pursuading someone is concerned, it totally depends on the situation, but bascially i think guys need to be sensitive to the gals needs....
gals being shy or frank: well, it depends on the gal again, her peers, her surroundings...all that counts...but i guess now a days, gals have pretty much learnt to speak their minds....
wow!!! i jus realised that i gave u really long ans for ur silly questions...he,he, he...
Hello, Ponungala pathi overa think pani kulapikathinga, Frankly girls like men who are true to themselves and be what,who they are in front of us... And intha padam podura alunga... Bandha panra pasanga, Overa act viduravanunga ellam kanduka matom...
But ennoru vishayam, ponungala purinchikarathu romba easy, pasanga aen than complicate panikirangalo theriyala!?
lemme answer by asking a question.....
1) Why is it that men who try hard to woo their gals, find it difficult to commit to them once the gals comply?
The questions you have in mind are very generic and subjective.....
vishy,
trying to change mind appdinu sollitu sethu seeyan range-la ponnna kadathitu poi meratrathu ellam velaiku avathu.(ithanaleya antha padam enaku pidikathu,except vikram's acting)
Gayathri:
Well pasanga complicated aah nenaikarthu kku karanam.. ponnunga appo appo oru mari behave panrathu dhan..
Veda:
anthan sonnen illa.. try pannalam.. ana ponna force panna koodathu.. the feeling should be mutual..
Dhaarini:
true many guys do not commit themselves.. and change..
ana intha ponnunga ellam correct aah thappa na pasangala dhan therneduthu comply panrangalo..
I think in many cases ppl r not commited cos they make a hasty decision.. commit panrathukku munnadi konjamavathu yosicha intha prechanai kedayathu..
ivalo medavigal ezhudinappuram I dont want to add more to it...aana Vishy, problem is the society's perspective on women hasnt changed, so assuming the girl's folks see her writing a blog on love, the repercussions would be more than a guy's bolg been seen by his folks.
Usha agreed..
ana as long as her hubby does'nt mind.. does the society's opinion really matters... sari.. appo kooda.. lot of people write a blog without revealing their identity.. en antha mari elutha koodathu???
nalla pollappu da dei
Guys are more outspoken about love in blogs juz bcos they know lot many girls will read ( I can see that here :)
Otherwise,
Girls were really careful and they were very sincere in analyzing guys before even thinking of committing for the next. Though I don’t think it’s a girly thing, it is more driven by the society. I would say the “Girls know better when it comes to what they want and when they want than Guys”
Equality in Proposing?----I hope none of our parliamentarians read this blog
When it comes to proposing, if there is a delay it means someone isn’t ready yet. Guys take the lead most of the time just because its also seen an GUY thing, doesn’t matter it’s east or west. Also we need to accept girls are more sensitive then guys and when it comes to proposing your love to you love it really needs lot of guts to take any embarrassment. This puts the girls in the back seat most of the time.
Social values drive more of the decision making in a girl than in a guy. So there is always more confusion for a girl than to a guy in a society where arrange marriages are 95%. I don’t think confusing it’s a right word. If he or she cant take a decision its much straight- someone isn’t ready.
So no point in pushing it further. I too have come across CASES where guys are too too PUSHY in making a girls accept his love. Funny, very Funny.
Vishy, u know what
Good Girls like Bad Guys
I heard this one from my friend recently, why cant u write one on this. How do this work?????
-question answer-
Vishy,
Ithuthaan "Penmai" enbathu!
I think Chetana's given some great answers as to why guys need a "blog" to let out their feelings of love, whereas girls have other outlets such as friends, TEARS etc! (Seriously, if guys just learnt to cry more, they'll never need to blog :p)
I just have one thing to say... take a situation where a guy and girl are dating. And someone comes up to them and asks "So, how'd it happen?" TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS... the guy LOVES to be able to say "I PROPOSED and she said YES!" It's an ego-boost thing. I don't think he'd be too happy to say, "Well, she proposed". Think about it. What would YOU rather say?
For a girl, the pleasure is in "being asked". For a guy, the pride is in "being accepted." Those are my words of wisdom for the day :D
Ms. V.. i seem to be an exception to both of ur assertions... And for everyone... dun juz assume things abt guys :P
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Ms. V well definitely what u said sounds good to hear. But then I think things are different when it come to reality.
Well lets say I have a GF and a friend of mine be it another guy/gal asks me how it happened.. I would definitely feel proud saying.. "She proposed to me". Think of it this was.. its very common for a guy to propose.. so I would be happier if the gal proposed to me.
And yeah we guys do not cry. I strongly believe that crying is not goin to solve any issues. Well if you ask then why guys crib on the blog.. I would say blogging is more of expressing your feelings.. I would not classify it as cribbing.
I am with RA on this one.... and yeah, guys too have expectations.
RA: You're a weirdo :P
Vishy: Personally, I want a guy who has the b*lls to ask me out.
Plus, I think a girl is more thrilled about being asked out. Even when it comes to being proposed (for marriage), I think girls are the ones who think for days as to how the guy will propose, when he will propose, where he will etc. It's a big deal to us. I don't think it's that much of a deal to the guy. To a guy, it's like "Oh cool. You like me? Okay, I like you too." But a girl would be gushing and excited and will start phoning every single friend she has to spread the great news.
I like the way it is. Not that I don't have the guts to approach a guy, because those who know me can vouch for the fact that I do! But I want to be proposed to. I will definitely give out major hints that I like the guy, but if he doesn't get it after all that, he's too stupid for me anyway!!! So I won't be losing out on anything ;)
As for crying versus blogging, blogging definitely classifies as cribbing over crying!!! Crying is natural. Why else do we have tear glands? In fact, I want my man to be able to cry when he's hurt. I think a man who cries is a man who is definitely secure enough about his masculinity to not let society's pressures of "boys don't cry" get to him. Crying may not solve problems. But it helps you feel better.
Ooh. In fact, when the boy's family comes over and asks me stuff like "Can I sing, dance, stand on my head etc.", I'm going to ask, "Can he cry?" :D
(Btw, there are always exceptions to everything. I think John Abraham is ugly. But I'm probably in the lone 1% of girls who thinks so. It's not about you or me. I'm talking about the majority. So my statements about men don't necessarily mean RA or you fall into it.)
love love love...vishy...thrinthu daa...
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